Don’t let me fall asleep.
I ask him.
I feel like i’ll stop existing if i close my eyes.
We are on a bed.
He has his side, his pillow.
He turns his head to look at me.
I never know what you mean, he says.
And it drives me crazy, because the sad spitting monsters are in the room, all around us, laughing, one right next to him!
And i point, but he groans and turns his head around.
We go to the zoo, and he doesn’t understand why i only want to stare at one animal the entire time.
But it makes more sense,
But he says it doesn’t.
I try to make him see, but he never does.
My thoughts reach his mind but don’t make the right shapes.
Maybe he can’t, maybe it works like that.
He has his pillow, i have mine, he has his world, i have mine.
And we lie down right next to each other.
Don’t let me fall asleep please, i say.
I feel like i stop existing when i close my eyes.
Maybe i don’t exist in his world either.
He turns his head around again,
But i don’t think he sees me.