They warned me about guns and knives, so they were ok.

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They always warned me about knives, scissors, needles, all pointy things, they hurt.

So they were ok, i knew, i stayed away from them.

Guns kill, knives kill, i knew so i never touched them.

But no one ever warns you about the worst things, the ones that jump at you from someone elses mouth and tear you apart.

No one ever warned me about people leaving and taking parts of you with them. Parts you need.

No one ever warned me about empty spaces and their punches.

The empty space around you growing up.

The empty space in the closet, on pictures, the empty space where the third plate used to be.

The empty space around my daughter now.

 

There is only two christmas stockings in our home this year.

And i know, i lived it!

No matter how much i fill them, nothing will ever be complete again.

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10 thoughts on “They warned me about guns and knives, so they were ok.

  1. It may seem that way now, but trust me. Soon you will have that third stocking and your heart and life will be full again. You are just too full of life to lead an empty one. And there’s so much emotion in you that it will find an outlet for it again. So be patient and open and love will come calling again.

  2. I feel a lot of your poetry sort of speaks about this empty space and feelings of loss, although this poem obviously addresses it more directly. The key obviously is that while we don’t want emptiness in our lives, we also don’t want to fill those empty spaces with people who don’t add to our lives. We don’t want just plain filler to avoid empty spaces. The fact that you recognize that is of course huge. Sometimes I feel like your poetry tries to search for the reasons why you may have not filled that emptiness before with quality people, and how you can trust yourself in the future to do it right. Maybe you aren’t sure yet, but I think you are journeying in the right direction. You do have a wonderful daughter, and you are a creative and intelligent mother, and thus you have a wonderful family even if it isn’t as full as you would like it right now.

    I think in life it’s important to remember that each failure brings us closer in understanding what we want and what is important to us. But in matters of love this can be a completely energy draining and painful journey. There is no doubt that you are incredibly strong person and a beautiful soul so I think all you really need to do is live in the moment and be patient. Which of course is always easier said than done. πŸ™‚

    If I’m completely talking out of my ass to you then I do apologize. Nothing is worse than someone giving unasked for advice. There is just something about you that convinces me that you haven’t reached your finest hour yet and I just want to see you get there. And I know you will. πŸ™‚

    1. Wow, thank you so much that made me cry. I don’t think that even people who are close to me know that much about me. Sometimes it feels like i’m just throwing words to the air and it’s so amazing that someone actually caught them and understood. Really, thank you.

      1. You’re welcome Lula. I guess this poem sort of brought things together for me, and I sort of realized what you have been perhaps expressing all along. Sort of like putting a puzzle together. Poetry is like throwing words into the air…after you watch enough of them land you sort of see a larger message. And girl…you know how to make it rain. I don’t have the ability to express myself as beautifully and powerfully as you do. I am glad I have found you on the blogosphere…I just wish sometimes after reading your poems I could give you a big hug! Alas the internet hasn’t found away to make that happen yet. So I just try to my best to give verbal hugs. πŸ™‚

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