I set Tulio’s kitchen on fire,
But only a tiny, tiny little bit!
It was 4:28 am and, for some reason, drunk me wanted to make coffee.
But the dish towel was too close to the stove and it caught fire.
I tried to extinguish it with a smaller dish towel but that caught fire too.
I gave up and just throwed a pitcher of water at them.
Afterwards i jumped on top of Tulio and told him i had something.
He was all sleepy and he thought it was sex but i was like no, pal, it’s a fire!
He jumped up all hysterical, and i was screaming “não,não! i turned it off!”
But he was not listening, and started running so i tackled him,
and we fell on the floor, and we started laughing for some, now ununderstandable, reason.
Which led to kissing, which led to us waking up his older brother,
who opened the door of his room, made a noise, and then immediately closed it back
“Seriously guys? Put some clothes on!”
(Kitchen damage repair R$ 60)
We were drunk the entire relationship.
I also ruined his best sheets.
In my defense he passed out right next to a box of markers…
And writing a poem on his stomach seemed like the best thing ever and i giggled to myself the entire time and i don’t regret it.
We woke up at 8am, his body a black mess, an “e” on my cheek.
and the rest of T.S. Eliot words smothered all over the white sheets
i you rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr yoooou
carry heeeeeeeeeeeeart tt tt t
ca carry ittttttt
in my yyy y hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aart
He put the sheets on the washer, but he didn’t had any clean ones, so we moved over to the couch.
His brother was already having breakfast and only shaked his head. He came over to us and speaking really slowly, and pointing his index finger at out faces, as if we were a couple of wicked puppies, he said “Not.on.my.couch!”
The couch was not safe.
The sheets remained stained.
(Silk sheets R$ 160)
I don’t think we had much in common, everything he tried to do turned out just…bad..
The third time he asked me out he brought flowers…FLOWERS!
I HATE being given flowers, it’s against my principles. I hate being given a gift that is going to die no matter what. What’s the point really? Hey! Look! This beautiful live being reminded me of you, so i killed it?
(Unwanted dead flowers: about R$ 30, i think)
Then he took me to have dinner at a sea food place.
I can’t stand seafood.
(Restaurant food that remained untouched plus wine R$ 140)
In the middle of the night, still hungry from not having touched the sea food, i made him go out and buy me candy.
(Overpriced Gas Station candy: R$15)
He also tried to impress me and took me to see an artsy old french movie, which, of course, turned out to be the first french movie i had seen with my french ex.
(Tickets to the past plus popcorn: R$ 50)
Everything else was caipirinhas and beers and laughter.
Lots and lots of the three of them.
We were drunk the entire relationship i’m telling you.
So the order of the events, places, parties, drinks, days, words, jokes, and what we really felt for each other, is still a mystery.
(Bunch of drinks and stuff: R$ 200)
I also stole one of his t-shirts, i told him i was taking it home to wash it so i could gave it back to him clean, but i never intented to do it, this shirt now lives a happy life in Mexico, it’s my pyjama now.
(Love white shirt: R$ 30)
We were drunk the entire relationship
and i ruined a lot of his things, and costed him a small fortune.
And he’s not the one i loved the most, or the cutest, or the one i still think about,
but he’s the one, the only one that grabbed my head between his hands the night i was leaving and said: “Please stay”
And after the year i had, and the real reason i came to Brazil.
It was all i needed to hear from someone, anyone.
He’s not the one i loved the most but he’s the one that tried, the one that called, the one that cared.
He’s the one that held me still when everything else in my life was spinning.
And i’ll owe him forever for that…
He’s not the one i loved the most, but he’s the one i’ll never forget.
We were drunk the entire relationship.
That last night too.
He was drunk on Brahmas.
(5 cans R$ 2.00 each)
And me, better than any beer, hard licor, drug, and also priceless…
I was drunk on him.