I’ve talked about this before but i had to have an emergency c-section a couple of weeks before my due date because my baby was sick. She had her first intervention the day after she was born, then a second one, then mayor surgery at 6 months old.
I remember all these people congratulating me on what an amazing job we were doing, how i had a great attitude, how i was an incredible parent, how they didn’t know what they would do if it were their baby.
But to be honest, that was not the hardest part. I was not a human being at that time. My world stopped and i couldn’t even tell if i was breathing.
Somehow i could not sleep for a week and still have energy to talk and sing to her for hours to try to distract her from the pain. That energy was coming from someplace else, i really feel like i can’t take credit.
That was something else.
The hardest part about parenting has been any other day, was today, yesterday, any random monday from last year.
Any day where we were already late and she spilled milk all over herself, the sundays where she woke me up at 6:30 am jumping on my face, were she used my good make up to paint on the walls, the days were i have to keep putting off the things i’ve always wanted for myself to do the things she needs right now.
That is where the real challenge lives.
Not in extraordinary situations, but in the ordinary. In making simple things magical. In having to make soup sound delicious, in having to make a dollar do the job of 10, in having to pretend “frozen” is fascinating when everything in your life is falling apart. In not letting the adult world touch hers, even though both worlds are always holding hands.
The hardest part about parenting is also the most beautiful part.
The part were you, just a candle, find the strenght to never stop burning so your child never stays in the dark.
And that’s all i understand about parenting so far.
But it feels like enough.