You are not supposed to compare people Lula.
You can’t compare people.
You are not supposed to compare people, you are not, you shouldn’t…
Lucien leaves his clothes all tangled up in a big messy ball at the feet of the bed.
Thiago takes them off slowly, folds them, then arranges them in a white basket. He is the one with the nice clothes. The one with the money. He’s the one that never takes a bad picture, and i swear one time i kissed him after a two hour work-out and he still smelled like soap.
You are not supposed to compare people Lula, it’s not right…
Lucien is the one that dares, the “Yes” to everything, the one that everyone loves because he is always smiling, always talking, the one they send to talk to girls. He’s the one with the heart, a record always on Play.
Thiago is the one with the nice bookshelf. The one that talks about Holden Caulfield as if he were an old high school friend. He’s the one that went to an Ivy League college but never talks about it. He encourages you to write. Says you should be on exhibit at Tralfamadore. He’s the one who also hates movies and undestands when it takes you 3 days to finish watching one. Pause, pause, pause.
You should never compare people, there will be no winners.
Lucien might be a mess when he is awake but he sleeps like an hibernating bear. Doesn’t move, doesn’t make a noise, i used to put my hand over his stomach just to make sure that he was still breathing.
Like a light that swtiches off.
Thiago says he doesn’t snore, but he does. And he trashes all around the bed as if he was fighting an invisible Kung-Fu master. He talks too, non sense. Every single night he threw his arms over me, pushed me, kicked me, hugged me, kissed me.
Like a light that switches on.
You are not supposed to compare people, but i’m not.
I’m comparing them to themselves.
They are one when they are awake, one when they are fast asleep.
One in public, another one when no one is watching.
An earthquake wanting to live at peace, a mannequin trying to break free of the display.
They are missing something, both of them, whatever it was, i never found it. And i hope they do.
All i do is look at them while they are asleep, while they roll around or don’t move an inch.
And wonder what they REALLY want,
And why it was never me…